A brief summary of my history with bikes.
I used to ride my bike like 10 miles a day, but then some Japanese people stole it. That'll teach me to walk away from a bike in Japan! (I was just gone long enough to get a cheeseburger at McDonald's. I think that's the saddest part. I can tell you now that I loved that bike, but my actions show that I cared more about a cheeseburger. I have to live with this regret for the rest of my life. Maybe the bike just ran away from home because of my betrayal and seemingly more intense love of cheeseburgers. Have I been blaming Japan for nearly 10 years (when I lived in VA with my dad, I rode his bike a lot, so it's not like I've been TOTALLY bikeless for a decade, but it has been that long since I had one of my own) wrongfully? Oh my god. How awful. (Now I want a cheeseburger.))
What kind of bike would Mike like?
When we were texting about bikes, you mentioned all sorts of types of bikes: road, mountain, hybrid, etc. Ultimately, the bike I choose will be the one that encourages relatively un-fucked up posture. I don't want to be hunched over, ya dig? And what if I get brave all of a sudden and want to bike across a mountain? I need to be prepared for anything. Do they make amphibious bikes that I could just ride into the water and then off into the horizon/sunset all majestic-like?
Where might Mike find a bike he'd like?
Under a bridge?
Homeless people sometimes have bikes. Maybe I could steal one of theirs. This homeless guy is smart and uses his bike as a pillow so people like me can't steal it.
Mostly I just think you're a total babe and I'd like to ride around town with you.
I will defer to your guidance and expertise in bike related matters.